Ah, air travel. It’s now the bain of our existence due to the heightened security measures that airports are taking. Most young women can identify with my angst over not being able to bring certain liquids and gel toiletries on board…lip glosses, perfumes, toothpaste…consider it all confiscated.
According to the TSA, they’ve loosened the rules just slightly to accommodate for “the health and welfare of certain air travelers.” Of course, this includes such boring items such as breast milk, liquid prescription drugs, “life support and life sustaining liquids such as bone marrow, blood products, and transplant organs”...and…KY Jelly.
Let me repeat that one...KY Jelly.
OK. Who at the TSA let this one slide by?
Let’s analyze this, shall we?
- Point #1: The desire to have sex upon an aircraft likely doesn’t fit within the terrorist MO, unless before ending the lives of everyone on board said terrorist wants to “get closer to God” by giving himself one last romp in the airplane bathroom with the help of a trusty personal lubricant.
- Point #2: KY Jelly, isn’t exactly something an air traveler would need for “health and welfare” unless it’s used to improve one’s overall demeanor by jacking off, jumping a flight attendant, or joining the mile high club. Yes, sex does puts one in a better mood, but it’s not like we can’t wait until the plane lands (in most scenarios at least).
- Point #3: I’m not aware of KY Jelly being used for any mechanical necessities on board a plane, thus that crosses out any practical applications.
In a nutshell, someone over at the TSA doesn’t want us to look or smell good on a plane, but we sure as hell can have as much sex as we want, pending you don’t run out of your 4 ounce allowance.
So, I’d like to give a big shout out to the TSA: THANKS for keeping our libidos in mind while flying the friendly skies.