Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I’ve Been Cheating

I fell in love at a young age. As soon as I saw the power and excitement that he exuded I was hooked. From that moment I knew my life was destined to be closer to him. At the age of 22, my dream finally came true after years of longing. I moved across the country to have him in my life. I was completely and utterly in love…with New York.

It’s been the longest relationship of my life thus far, and we’ve had quite a time together, all five years of our courtship. To think about all the fun exploits we’ve had, the fabulous people he’s introduced me to, the job that I was hooked up with when I decided to move in, it’s hard to ignore that I’ve been living the fantasy that I had dreamt about as a little girl.

Sadly, as with any relationship, we’ve had quarrels, hurdles to overcome and lulls in passion for each other. My interest began to fade and I wondered if New York really was the right choice for me. Is this love really what I wanted for my life? As I faltered over my lack of decisiveness, I was introduced to someone new…London.

I didn’t fall into the tryst easily; in fact it began slowly, but then picked up in pace. Within months of considering a relationship with London, I realized…I was already cheating on my beloved New York with the worst of all possible options…a foreigner. For the last nine months, London had been on my mind and I can’t escape.

I’ve gotten myself into a predicament and am now stuck in the impossible place of deciding which choice is right for me. It’s clouded by being in love with both. I’m in front of a sliding door. Which to choose?!

I’ve got quite a history with New York, as we’ve been through a lot together. To be frank, I know he’d be royally pissed off if I ditched him for someone that doesn’t even live on the island. The hardest thing to do would be to break up with New York after all this time.

But, London. Oh, London! He offers me experiences I only dream of having. With London the world is my oyster and I know it’d be an exciting time. Our relationship has been short in comparison, but I’ve gotten used to him being on my mind, continually whispering tempting promises into my ear.

Unfortunately they found out about each other rather quickly, and neither is being patient with me about who I will ultimately choose. Both New York and London have told me they want me, but I'm scared that given my cheating past, I've jeapordized any chance I have with either.

At this point, all I can do is make the decision for myself. I've cheated, and as they say "I made my mess and now I have to lie in it." I’m torn between two loves who both offer me a great life, but I now have to own up, choose my mate and quit my cheating ways.

1 Comments:

At 4:47 AM, Blogger miss goLondon said...

look at it this way. not many people in the WORLD can say they have lived, and thrived, in both cities. you can always go back to NYC. with some english accented notches, both boys and careers, on your belt. change because you can, and because your world will only broaden and enrichen in experience. NYC aint' goin anywhere, but opportunities to move to a foreign country don't pop up like music video commentary. lurv, your blog big sis, miss GL

 

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