Wednesday, February 21, 2007

On Money & Trees

I’ve been doing quite a bit of pondering about my job as of late. Seems that this “pondering” is on an annual cycle, as it’s that time of year when us PR plebes spend most of our waking hours catching up on the slacking we did before the holidays. Hence, it’s always this time of year that I start to hate my job and start considering my options…

In all honesty here, I don’t hate my job. Not even close in fact. My problem really lies in that I’m burned out, unmotivated and bored out of my mind. I want something more exciting. I want something more relatable to me. I want to be challenged in new ways.

(How noble of me…)

After all this pondering about job offers, lists of pros and cons, consultations with friends - I must boil this down to the bottom line of bottom lines: Money. Isn’t this why we all go to work in corporate America anyway?

I don’t save lives. I create air. I push products. I schmooze. I make more money for large consumer products companies. I proverbially help plant money trees in the atriums of these companies and get praised for having a creative mind helping to increase their bottom line.

(How American…)

Here lies the selfish question: Why isn’t my bottom line increasing?

To be real here, I don’t want to make any job decisions based on money alone. After all there are thousands of more important things in life than money. Yet, in the world of PR agencies, true earning potential shifts into high gear after about 5 years in the business and I feel that by staying put too long, I'd be missing out.

(It’s about at this point in the post that my moral center chimes in)

One of my beloved mantras is that I want to work to live, not live to work. When indifference towards one’s job (and other opportunities) sets in, isn’t a bigger paycheck the one thing that will afford for more cherished life activities outside of work? And by life activities I mean visits to my family, worldly travels and an apartment of my own away from any anal-retentive/passive-aggressive thirty-something roommates that hate life...or so to speak.

As my mother said, it’s never a bad thing to have opportunity knocking, but when the opportunity knocking is a tree full of dollar bills, it’s time to evaluate how much more that tree can grow before finding a place to plant it.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

A retrospective on the sociological reactions toward alteration of hair follicle hues

E. Avenue, Journal of Avenue Elle, Vol. February, Issue 7, (2007).

Abstract: The following study is a retrospective on a 10-week controlled experiment, designed to understand the societal changes made toward a woman in her mid-twenties, after subject altered hair coloration from a honey-blond to a chestnut brown.

Hypothesis: Results expected can be divided into four areas:

  1. Subject deems societal implications to be positive and embraces change
  2. Subject deems societal implications to be positive yet chooses to return to original state of coloration
  3. Subject receives negative societal reaction and returns to original state of coloration
  4. Subject receives negative societal reaction yet embraces change
Of the four possible outcomes, the predicted outcome will be that of option number two.

A direct measure of societal reactions were taken from the Subject on a journalistic basis. Subject made daily notes on male and female reactions toward the alteration of hair color. Results were tallied at the end of the 10-week study period, showcasing a result based on the prevalence of each hypothesis area.

Data Analysis: Subject saw a change in societal reactions within a number of categories:

  • Male reactions (by both known and unknown males)
  • Female reactions (by both known and unknown males)
  • Confirmed personal reactions based on tangible evidence
  • Personal reactions based on assumption

Discussion: Male reactions to the change in hair color were both positive and negative. Known males were disappointed to see the change in the subject’s hair color – this was deemed as a negative reaction by the subject. Unknown males responded by providing the subject with a higher level of respect than is usually afforded.

Female reactions to the change were generally positive. Known females expressed positive reactions directly to the subject. Unknown females, while they did not express like or dislike directly, generally seemed less threatened by subject's presence.

The subject’s own reactions were mixed. While the subject has enjoyed less “upkeep” on color processing and a fair amount of positive response, the Subject generally feels “more ordinary” in comparison to the norm of hair color in the New York area. Additionally, subject enjoys a lighter hair color’s ability to imply a lightness of character in comparison to generally sarcastic overtone within the personality.

Conclusions: Subject will definitively return to the original state of hair color – that of a honey blond – affirming this experiment’s expected hypothesis. Timing of said return is yet to be determined as Subject may enjoy alteration of hair color on a personal basis for another ten-week period. Due to climate changes at the end of the second ten-week period, Subject will be forced to return to original state of hair color for fear of being generally bored and seasonally-affected (see Vol. May – August for general attitudes toward increased sunlight).

D. Chic, Downtown Chic, (2006-2007)

In the next life...

I want to live my next life backwards...

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better everyday.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.

Sounds pretty damn good, right?!