Date Update
How does one assess how a date goes? Usually people dwell on things in hindsight and partake in ample amounts of self-reflection. To be honest, the process is nullifying. Replaying a date in one’s mind can cause a person to go crazy with questions that don't really matter. Did I over do it on that topic? Did he think I was too forward? Did I look ok? It’s a never-ending cycle of insecure assessments.When in these situations it's important to take a step back and assess to overall feeling of the date. For example, was the conversation easy? Was there a feeling of attraction? Was there an air of putting on a front? Was there any game playing? If it was easy in an overall sense, that’s a good sign in my book.
In the case of my date with the Thinker, I can say that things were easy. At least from my perspective. Here’s the recap:
We met for drinks and sushi around 6:30…smiles and conversation came easily as we tried to catch up on the basics. In fact, the conversation was flowing so quickly, we went off onto tangents frequently and had to back track to previous topics.
Post sushi, we walked through the village and stopped for some wine. We talked about politics, history, relationships…again, all sorta came very easy. I did notice he was very passionate about certain topics, making me see that we could easily get into arguments about stuff if we weren’t on our best date behavior. By midnight, the date came to an end. He walked me to the subway and we smooched for a bit. We confessed we both had a good time and called it a night.
Would I go out with him again? Probably. Will he call? I have no idea. I’d like to think that things went well (given the easy convo, prolonged date and end-of-night smooch), however one never really does know do they? Given my post-date self-reflection and hindsight, I can definitely pick out moments of shoulda, woulda, coulda’s, however at the end of the day I know I need to just stop the dwelling and let it be what it will be. It’s this reason alone, why so many people hate dating…rejection.
At the end of the day, dating shouldn’t feel forced and we shouldn’t take it personally if the other person didn’t like what they saw. All we can do is be comfortable with ourselves, and hope someday the right one will come along.
Ah, optimism…sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps a single girl going.
posted by Lisa @ 11:39 AM
6 Comments:
I could relate to just about every word you wrote and have had dates like that, that start out promising and either continue on such a path or go nowhere. I hope yours continues!
Good conversation + date extension + smooch = really good sign! Unless this guy is a total jackass, he wouldn't take it to that point if he wasn't intrigued. It's also a good sign that he showed his passion about some topics! :)
Optimism is never a bad idea!
"At the end of the day, dating shouldn’t feel forced and we shouldn’t take it personally if the other person didn’t like what they saw. All we can do is be comfortable with ourselves, and hope someday the right one will come along."
I have to keep those word in mind. I should have them tattoed on the back of my eyelids so I see it when I blink.
well it sounds like it was a good date... keep up the optimism... it isn't always easy to remain optimistic in this world of dating...
I think he'll call!
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