Post Card Bomb
So you’ve all heard me mention my ex-boyfriend, The German, a few times. In case you need a refresher, he’s the guy who broke up with me via email. Yeah, well, he’s reared his foreign prose once again in the form of a 4x6 piece of cardboard shipped in from Alaska. That’s right, my friends, he post card bombed me from the Arctic.I bet you’re wondering what he thought was so important to tell me after five months, right? Well, here you go...
Hi Elle,Wow… Bears… I mean, what do I even say to that?!? Could he have been any more lame?!
Greetings from Alaska! It’s so beautiful out here and so far sunny all the time. We met some bears today and are camping now in Denali. Hope to talk to you soon… Sxxx
Clearly there will be no response to this bombing. I just love that he’s put all the power into my hands by simply showing that he’s still pining for me. Even months after the break up, it’s just as satisfying as giving him the good-bye “hair flip”…aka: validation that I’m still fabulous. Gotta love it.
I must say that getting The German's postcard was unnerving for a split second, so unnerving that I knew I had to dispose of said card as soon as humanly possible (i.e., as soon as I’d shown it to all my friends, analyzed it to death and reaffirmed my utter magnificence). So I did what any creative-minded gal would do…While sitting at a fantastic piano bar last Friday night, we realized we had no paper on which to make a song request…out came Alaska, a big black marker and a wad of singles. What song did we request?? Of course, New York State of Mind. Perfect.
I have no idea what prompted him to contact me again, and frankly I don’t care. But we can all learn a very valuable lesson from The German: NEVER, ever attempt to contact an ex long after a break up…it’ll just make you look like an ass.
posted by Lisa @ 11:30 AM
6 Comments:
You're a lifesaver! I almost, almost contacted my ex today. Thanks, ELLE!
um, as long as you don't mention bears, which makes it worse.
(weirdness, my ex roommate sent me a postcard from alaska a few weeks ago!)
Oh I luv your strength - I don't know that I would've had the will power not to call/write back!!!
Although you do make a good point - he just made himself look like the biggest w*nker!!!
You are absolutely correct. Stay strong! :)
Oh man, yes thank you for saying this. The thought crossed my mind to contact an ex the other day, too.
Wow, this is far more potent that a mere drunken text an email, because the dude had to go to the trouble of finding a postage stamp. You're special enough for snail mail! I think you dealt with it perfectly.
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