Game or No Game?
So on a recent night out with a group of friends, we were all intent on getting lit up on liquor at Puck Fair. My girlfriends and I took a lap and determined that we were better off grabbing a booth toward the front. At least we could assess as the eligible chaps came in the door, right? So as I’m sitting there enjoying my Spaten, I strike up a convo with a guy friend of a friend. We got into the discussion about how the girls in my “pack” are hard to hit on.WHA?!?!? Houston, we have a problem.
I asked my friend why I had no game. He rebuffed and said I did have game, and that someone had asked about me that very night. I retorted that I clearly have no game since this mystery guy proclaimed his interest but still never approached me. My friend said the explanation for not approaching me was simple: The guy assumed he’d have no chance with me anyway and didn’t want to risk rejection.
My friend then went on to say that this is why some of my gal-pals are hard to hit on. Apparently - in the eyes of a man – these hard to hit on women will turn down any and all men that make advances, which isn’t worth a blow to the ego. Talk about a thought provoker!
The intimidation factor. Does it exist? I know loads of women who say they never get hit on because “guys are intimidated by them.” Could this be true or are we all up on a narcissistic soapbox? Or perhaps it is the other way around, meaning most men are just scared shitless of being potentially rejected by a woman who seemingly has it together?
I’m stumped on this one. I happen to think that a guy who actually strikes up a conversation with me (and does not use one of a gazillion lame pick up lines) gets points for doing so…in my world that in itself is a rarity, and I think the confidence only makes a man more attractive. Furthermore, what gives the guy the right to decide whether I'd go out with him or not, especially when he doesn't even offer up the chance to get to know him?
In sum, I think being single in a city with millions of attractive, smart and witty men and women would be a much more pleasant playground if men got over their fears and bucked up, and women loosened up a bit more and became less standoffish. Of course, easier said than done, but it’s a start.
My friend did sum up the conversation with an interesting point. He said that I shouldn’t need game anyway, since a nice guy with game should be the one to do the work. So in one man's opinion, I need to wait for Mr. Scared-But-I've-Got-Game to come along, buck up and go after what he wants.
My take on that...I've been waiting my entire adult life for that and am still single and boy crazy...
posted by Lisa @ 2:17 PM
2 Comments:
Hi - just found your blog!
I've been relying on the whole intimidation factor as the reason why guys don't approach me. But maybe it's time I stop being a wuss and start approaching them myself.
Is that allowed?
YES! I've been trying to be better about it too...
We all just need to start going after what we like and get over the possibility of rejection.
If we're constantly scared of being turned away, then we miss out on the chance to meet someone really cool...
So I say just go for it!
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