First Date
This past weekend I decided to have a courage sandwich and go on a date with someone I had been chatting with online. Since it was my first go at it, I was a bit worried about picking a bad apple or experiencing some asinine situation that would blow my unsurpassed, worst date ever out of the water (high school homecoming date, 1997).I’m not a nervous person, so pre-date I wasn’t a jittering fool like some girls are. I was just straightforwardly excited to meet someone new and poles apart from the usual suspects (i.e., who preferably does not work in the field of marketing).
I went through the normal pre-date prep: went to gym (think: less bloating and better fit in “skinny jeans”), got beautified, picked out my best “date” attire, and…gave myself a few extra moments to pound back a couple coffees (OK – jitters may be present, but only from caffeine buzz). I then headed downtown to Chelsea for a brunch date, which I might add is an excellent activity choice for a first date since it expertly combines daylight, coffee and option of an opt-out for later afternoon plans.
The “Canadian” (as we will call him for dramatic effect), was an engineer and an affably attractive guy at first glance (Sigh!). The date ensues, and over (more) coffee we chatted about the normal getting to know you crap: where are you from, why did you move here, any siblings…
It is about half way through ordering my food that I wondered what time it was. In other words, when will this date be over? I mean, he’s a great guy and very nice. Definitely not a crazy so I can give myself a congratulatory pat on the back for managing not to meet a stalker(slash)Peter Braunstein type. So what was wrong you ask? I'll explain...
My beef here was that there was virtually no spark, which at the end of the day is what everyone in this jaded and cruel town secretly wants in a relationship despite the overflowing cynicism we all encounter daily (ok, perhaps the cheese stands alone). It is this precise synopsis for why I have always loathed trying the online approach. At least if you meet someone personally you can make a game time call on whether a connection exists or not.
NOTE: I’ve already stated that I’m one of those idealistic types so please refrain from knocking me for being a hapless singleton looking for that proverbial spark.
So, the Canadian and I continue chatting and after brunch he took me around the block to meet his dog (aka: supposed girl magnet). It is about here where I started wondering how to end the date politely without insulting him or seeming mean-spirited. Lucky for me, a friend called and wanted to meet for a movie so I didn’t have to fib (for which I would have felt guilty about all afternoon).
In conclusion to this long-winded tale, I will give online dating a whirl a few more times, but I’m not convinced that setting up lunch and cocktail dates in the fashion of my day-to-day work schedule is entirely my cup of tea. I’m still a stubborn idealist at heart.
posted by Lisa @ 10:56 AM
3 Comments:
Brunch. Smart idea for a first/get-to-meet-you date. If you do this again make sure your friend calls at the correct time.
Could be worse, could have wasted your money on eharmony.com.
Just found your blog. I wanted to answer the question about guys under 30 doing online dating.
Truthfully, I'm not so sure that guys under 30 even have the patience to bother with it, especially in early to mid-twenties. You're still hanging out w/ college friends, old girlfriends, etc. But when you get closer to 30, maybe you've relocated for a job, or a bunch of your friends have moved away, you're working long hours, etc., and suddenly, it's much much harder to meet someone. Hence, online dating.
I don't know. I could go on and on. Good luck w/ your blog!
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