Monday, January 23, 2006

Three Strikes

I admit I am a lover of compliments. If you ask me, people don’t give enough of them these days. However, in my definitive opinion, one can use complimentary action in excess when it comes to dating, especially if you don’t know someone well.

Let me explain...

Over the weekend I cautiously embarked on an emailing adventure with a guy from an online dating site. He emailed first and gave me a nice compliment regarding my photo.

Inner monologue:
“Wow, that was a nice thing to say. Never met an actual New Yorker who could muster up such a statement without an ulterior motive. I’ll give it a whirl.”
After a few rounds of emails, he seemed like a nice guy and really funny. Then he mentioned to me again that he liked the photo on my profile.

Inner Monologue:
“OK. Two compliments. A bit over the top considering he’s never met me, but still - er - nice.”
A little more online conversation and I gave him my cell number, intending to graduate to a voice-on-voice conversation. Mistake.

On Saturday afternoon I received this text message: “Hope you don’t mind, but I snuck a peek at your profile again. Loved your photo.”

Inner Monologue:
“Enter weirdness! First he told me outright that he’s been viewing my profile in excess…not too keen on that concept (at least don’t tell me that you’ve got obsessive tendencies), and second, thank you for the compliment (AGAIN) but it’s just gone way over the top into strangeville.”
The whole purpose of a compliment is to say something nice out of the blue. If people were complimentary all the time, a nice compliment wouldn’t be as meaningful. Insert the fact that I grew up in the mid-west (where I was taught not to talk to strangers), live in New York City (where compliments are few and far between) and have become slightly jaded through the dating scene – his third declaration of praise made him slightly creepy.

In short, some lasting thoughts on all of this:
  1. No more number distribution until he’s earned it
  2. Must be more selective

posted by Lisa @ 10:20 AM

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