Responsibility
...It’s something we all seek and loathe at the same time. Lately, my life is filled with responsibility and I can feel the pressure like never before.At work, I’ve always been one to hunt for more responsibility. I want it partly to keep my job interesting and to learn new things, but I also look for it so I can pass off the crap that I no longer like to do. I like to think of it as trading up.
Just recently, I was “formally” given more responsibility. Given that I’ve been a minion to the PR hierarchy since I left college, I’ve gotten promotions before...but this time it’s different. I’m now in a position to have the success or failure of an entire account fall onto my shoulders. Yes, I have senior management to fall back on if I say the word, but it’s sort of scary to think that if I fail to notice something of note, things could crumble and it would be my ass on the line.
With more job responsibility (luckily), comes more money in my pocket. More dinero comes as a slight relief, as we all know New York is not a cheap place to live. Yet, with more money comes yet more responsibility. My mind swirls with all the things I need to actively think about. Savings! Upping my contribution to my 401K! Pay off that student loan! And probably the most poignant (and pathetic)…no more gas money from the ‘rents when I head home to visit.
Professional and fiscal responsibilities have hit me over the head with one thought: I’m an adult and it’s now my responsibility to get my shit together.
I don’t know why it hasn’t hit me like this before...after all, I am in my upper 20’s and I’ve been on my own for years now. Perhaps it’s such a blatant change in my life that I can no longer escape under the veil of thought that someone has my back. In sum, no more denial. No more excuses. No more easy outs.
My future lies entirely in my hands and I can no longer assume that anyone will bail me out. It's a weight of responsibility that is bearing down in a very real way.
posted by Lisa @ 10:25 AM
1 Comments:
I'm with you, Elle. I recently had the responsibility block dropped on my shoulders as well. As my VP put it "the sun will rise and set on your ass".
comforting.
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