Trashing the Timeline
We’ve all talked about it and assume we won’t fall victim to it…but every time we do. As typical urbanites, we fall victim to the dating timeline. It goes like this:Date #1: Drinks
Date #2: Dinner & a movie
Date #3: Hook up
I could go on, but we all know what I’m talking about. We follow the flow and quickly fall into a physical relationship, even if we don’t necessarily know that person very well. But that’s how it’s supposed to go, right?
The truth is if we deviate from this path, we begin to wonder what is wrong with the relationship. But since when did taking a relationship slowly become a death warrant to any potential? After living in a city where quick hook ups are a normal weekend occurrence to anyone single and under the age of 35, seems that more emphasis has been put on the physical, leaving mutual respect in the dust.
There is nothing wrong with a quick hook up. I’ve done it. You’ve done it. We’ve ALL done it. But where we go wrong is assuming anything meaningful will come out of that without time spent getting to know one another. Physical attraction does not translate into a successful relationship overnight people.
I had this epiphany last week handed to me on a silver platter. Why was I expecting to rush into a physical relationship? All of my last boyfriends “blossomed” out of one-night stands and they turned out just fantastically (read: extreme sarcasm), so why was I clinging to my pattern so desperately? Is it expectations from my friends? Is it a societal assumption? Is it a personal hang up?
Why was I so disappointed and worried that slamming on the breaks was a bad thing?
I can’t answer that question, but I do know I think I was wrong to stick to this theory for so long. Being on the “fast” side hasn’t gotten me anywhere and I’m not getting any younger. So in the name of changing it up, I’m going to give slow a chance (and by slow I do not mean prude. I don't do prude).
Besides, with all this footsie and cuddling going on it’s obvious the dating days of junior high are making a comeback. Therefore I'll chalk it up to being trendy...
posted by Lisa @ 1:39 PM
5 Comments:
last few months = skipping date one and two
....tired of it
how lame is that?
Dustin - Are you tired...or TIRED?
Watch out... I thought I was taking it slow a couple months back and it turns out the boy was just gay. Remember him? How can we forget...
What's wrong with just doing it when it feel right?
erm....depends on what week you ask me.
This week = not the hottest, but that's by choice.
let's hit the bars tonight eh?
;)
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