Thoughts on Waiting
For the moment, let’s flash back in time about 18 months...I was dating the German and things were heading south. He had just returned from a three-month trip in the South Pacific, and had just taken a job in Germany. So much for giving the U.S. and US a chance.
In that trying time, all I remember doing was waiting around. Waiting around for just one email, just one text message or just one phone call. It made me feel insecure, pathetic and embarrassed. I was a walking cliché of a girl trying to convince herself that her relationship was worth the wait.
Fast forward to present time...
Now, I don’t wait around for anyone. It’s one precious lesson I learned from dating the German. I’ve stopped trying to convince myself that being unreliable is a quality I can adapt to. Case in point, his recent overture for “coffee or so.”
After recieving the German’s invitation, I had to ponder whether or not I would accept. I decided that I would be up for it, but under the conditions that I could secretly keep the upper hand. So I responded...
Sxxx –He responded by saying Saturday or Sunday afternoon would be best. I agreed and told him to let me know. I left the decision making up to him, while I went on my merry way.
Yeah, sure. I guess I could meet up for a bit. Let me know when you’re thinking. I have some plans this weekend so I’ll see what works...
Elle
As I mentioned, I’m so glad I wasn’t waiting around because we never met up. We never met up because he didn’t make the time. All I got was a cryptic text message on Saturday saying “still in meetings...”
Typical.
I was telling my girlfriends this weekend that I now know the purpose in having seen him in the marathon - it was to show myself that I’m over him completely. Had I gotten his email invitation as a surprise, I might have reacted differently to the situation. I might have weaned on my judgment and allowed him ‘in’ just enough to bring back those feelings of insecurity and embarrassment for allowing him to have control. I would have allowed him to disappointment me yet again. Well, I knew this time not to wait for him and I’m proud of myself for that.
Fast forward to my next relationship...
I still won’t be waiting, unless I find someone that wants to wait for me too.
posted by Lisa @ 11:08 AM
4 Comments:
Good for you. Good luck!!
that mutherf*cker! But yes, GOOD FOR YOU!
Yay for you!! Serves him right!!
boys can be such JERKS! I am proud of you.
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