Run & Hide
I woke up yesterday morning and flipped on the TV to see the starting gun of the New York Marathon go off promptly followed by Frank Sinatra’s "New York New York" playing over the loud speakers. For a split second I smiled and thought, “oh, wouldn’t it be great to run in a marathon.” After all, the New York Marathon is an annual event that entices the masses to take on one of the most difficult physical challenges a person can handle. This city loves the Marathon and even the most loafish person can be inspired. I paused for a moment and then quickly returned to reality where I was still snuggled under the covers in my bed. – enjoying my immobility.
Despite my own sentiments toward running 26.2 miles, I managed to get out to the sidelines to cheer on a few friends. We found a great spot at mile 24 in central park, and had our signs all ready for when we spotted our pals in the mass of people. They ran by looking fabulously energetic, almost as if they had only ran a couple of miles rather than 24. After they passed, my friends and I continued to cheer others on, enjoying the greatest form of people watching I can think of.
As we clapped for those who were excited to be on the last leg of the race (or ready to collapse), I looked out over the curved road and mass of people wondering who else might be taking on the challenge. As I was scanning the faces, I saw something that I’m not sure any girl will ever be ready for.
Almost in slow motion, the wall of people oddly opened up and there he was, running right in front of me – my ex boyfriend.
It had been almost eleven months to the day of when I last saw him in person. Since he lives in Germany, he’s been easy to avoid. After all this time, I had a split second to decide on what to do. Do I be a good sport and cheer him on? Do I do nothing? Do I casually say hi?
Nope. I did none of the above. I did what any smart woman would do...I hid behind my gal-pal standing next to me praying that he would pass without seeing me. I HID! Talk about an instinctual reaction. I mean, this is a man who was in my life for a long time, reeking havoc on my emotions for the better part of two years. There he was...and I hid.
I consider myself a pretty confident person. Made more secure no thanks to that relationship. But hiding? In hindsight it seems like a silly reaction considering the circumstances. I know ten times over that I would never date him again, however I do know that he changed me and my outlook on many things. So what was I hiding from?
Regardless of my reaction to seeing him, I have to wonder what is the cosmic reason for my ex-sighting? Is it validation? Is it a test of will? I can't say I know why just yet, but I have always thought everything happens for a reason.
So, just like in When Harry Met Sally...it happened. In a world of 6 billion people, a city of 8 million, and a race of 37,000 - it is just my luck that I would see the one person who has successfully un-nerved me in the past two years.
posted by Lisa @ 12:36 PM
3 Comments:
Of all the marathons in all the cities of all the world - you had to run in mine.
Sugh - sorry, darlin. Good for you for hiding! It takes the bigger person to not say 'you're in a marathon and all sweaty and gross looking and I'm sitting here looking fabulous with my starbucks...so..HA!"
i've been reading your blog for a little bit, but never commented. i had to comment on this entry though. i did the same exact thing just the other day. i don't know why i hid either, but it was almost second nature. he is thatthe one person regardless of how seemingly well everything else is going in my life can still just throw me all off balance.
on a side note i really like your writing and thanks for this entry it made me realize that i'm not the only one that hides ha.
all this talk about marathons today make me want to try one. it can't be too hard right?
the x-boyfriend situation = typical.
i have some fairly shitty situations myself.
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